"Good Bye to Billy"
Michael Dingwell



Hey, folks, I'm back from my trip to Wash. D.C.  My surgery didn't go nearly as well as I'd hoped it would, but I'll live. I visited the wall and said my so-long's to my partner.  It was very crowded and I tried my best not to break down but was totally unsuccessful. I cried till I thought I couldn't cry anymore and felt a pain that I thought was behind me.  I never thought I could feel so bad again.  As I blubbered out the words to my friend, I could slowly feel the Lord's strength taking over.  He must have felt that I needed to feel the pain first, I don't know, but then He took me by the hand and led me to a place where I could be at peace with myself.  I told Billy that I would see him again when it was time and that I knew he was in God's arms. I told him that I no longer tried to drink and drug my pain away and that I walked with The Lord now, in a different army, in a different war.  I could not for the life of me control my tears and I cried till I thought my heart would burst. Heck, I'm crying now.  As I left the wall to go back to my hotel, I somehow felt an inner peace.  The next day, after classes, I went back to the wall to see it in the dark and make sure my part was finished.  I thought there was more to say but instead felt ok and had nothing further to say to Billy.  God was with me, I could feel His presence.  I think this was the most profound thing that ever happened to me.  It's over now.  Billy and my heart are at peace.  God, how I still miss him, though.

1997 - Michael Dingwell


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