Hey, folks, I’m back from my trip to Wash. D.C. My surgery didn’t go nearly as well as I’d hoped it would, but I’ll live. I visited the wall and said my so-long’s to my partner. It was very crowded and I tried my best not to break down but was totally unsuccessful. I cried till I thought I couldn’t cry anymore and felt a pain that I thought was behind me. I never thought I could feel so bad again. As I blubbered out the words to my friend, I could slowly feel the Lord’s strength taking over. He must have felt that I needed to feel the pain first, I don’t know, but then He took me by the hand and led me to a place where I could be at peace with myself. I told Billy that I would see him again when it was time and that I knew he was in God’s arms. I told him that I no longer tried to drink and drug my pain away and that I walked with The Lord now, in a different army, in a different war. I could not for the life of me control my tears and I cried till I thought my heart would burst. Heck, I’m crying now. As I left the wall to go back to my hotel, I somehow felt an inner peace. The next day, after classes, I went back to the wall to see it in the dark and make sure my part was finished. I thought there was more to say but instead felt ok and had nothing further to say to Billy. God was with me, I could feel His presence. I think this was the most profound thing that ever happened to me. It’s over now. Billy and my heart are at peace. God, how I still miss him, though.
©1997 – Michael Dingwell